The first time I ever tried “eggs over easy” was when my father made them for me when I was very young. I was always amazed at the whole egg-making process which included fancy flipping and just the right temperature and cooking time. I remember that the eggs were perfectly done each and every time. When I asked what the secret was, the answer was the same every time - “you have to go easy.” You probably know what happens when you turn up the heat on your eggs in an attempt to cook them faster...the result is something that is overcooked, dry, tasteless and difficult to get out of the pan.
Taking it easy does not only apply to serving up the perfectly cooked egg. It is a way of life that we would each be smart to embrace. Everyone I know, myself included, is so busy. Our calendars are booked solid with commitments, both work and personal. We schedule everything, but for some reason, we feel guilty penciling in some rest and relaxation onto the calendar.
I tried very hard when my kids were younger to not over commit them. You often hear that over-scheduling your children is the #1 thing NOT TO DO when you are a parent. So we had choices to make - Tae Kwon Do or baseball? Piano or art classes? We could not do everything, certainly not without inducing a lot of "agita" (the Italian word for STRESS)! But then your kids grow up and there are AP classes, weekly exams in every subject, part- time jobs, daily sports practices...you know what I am talking about - the things you cannot say NO to, even if you wanted to do so.
We are approaching what many consider the "busiest time of the year". Cooking, shopping, wrapping, decorating, traveling, entertaining...one or more of these things is probably on your Nov-Dec To Do List. What should be a happy and wonderful time ends up piling as much stress on your plate as there will be stuffing next week. I have been encouraging my clients and students to adopt and embrace my "No, No November" challenge. This means giving ourselves permission to say "No, No" to the things that are being asked of you that you just don't have the time, energy, or resources to make happen. As I said before, there are certain things that we are unable to say NO to - work deadlines, doctors' appointments, your spouse's work holiday party...you know what I mean. However, when you receive an invitation to yet another Christmas Cookie exchange, you may want to say no. Does every present that you give have to be wrapped? How about coming up with a theme gift this year and giving everyone the same thing? Don't have time to pose the family for a new holiday photo for this year's card? Christmas is on a Wednesday this year...use an old photo and go with a "way back Wednesday" theme.
I can certainly relate to the feeling you get when you are faced with an overwhelming amount of things to do. When my husband and I are running around trying to “get it all done”, our son often reminds us to “go easy”. He has a gentle way of saying it which is more like a tap on the shoulder than a nagging demand. His words are just the reminder that we need to slow down, that everything will get done and we don’t have to run ourselves ragged doing so. When he leaves for college next year, I will be missing his very calming presence and the sweet way he has of getting us centered and grounded.
"A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood", the long awaited and much anticipated movie about Mister Rogers, debuts in theaters tomorrow starring Tom Hanks in the lead role. It is an interesting juxtaposition of America’s most beloved actor playing America’s most beloved television personality. I have heard Tom Hanks say in recent interviews that in order to embody Mister Rogers, he watched hours and hours and hours of the 30 minute television program than ran on PBS for over 30 years. He said that the most important thing that he had to do to become Fred Rogers was not mimicking his voice or his mannerisms. The most essential component was slowing down. He had to slow his movements, slow down his speech, and slow his breathing. Matthew Rhys, who co-stars in the movie playing the journalist Tom Junod who wrote a profile piece on Mister Rogers in the 80's, said that he was unfamiliar with the program since he was raised in Wales. When he was introduced to the character of Mister Rogers via videotapes, he immediately noticed his slow cadence and was wondering (as any professionally trained actor would) if Mister Rogers was speaking so slowly because he couldn’t remember his lines. He soon realized that the slow pacing of the program, and of Fred Rogers himself, was so that the children watching would be able to absorb every educational word and lesson being delivered by this beloved teacher featured on the small screen. He was intentionally pausing and using a very deliberate tone of speech. The end result was that his loyal watchers (children) thought he was talking directly to them. He was consciously and purposely “going easy” so that we, his captivated audience, would not be left behind on the beautiful journey that he was leading us on.
There were many lessons taught my Mister Rogers’ over the 895 episodes about everything from sharing, to acceptance, losing gracefully, anger management, love and loss. Those old episodes should be considered “must see TV” by all of us, no matter our age. I imagine that you are probably too busy to begin to binge watch a children’s television show and I certainly don't want to add another thing to your to do list. Don’t worry...all of the lessons may be boiled down to just two magical words to live by - GO EASY.