I Am Not My Hair

A very funny video went viral this past week. A Mom from Texas posted a video of what happens when you are busy getting ready for work and you forget to hide the dog shears.Her five year old son used the clippers to give his younger sister and brother haircuts. You have to see the video for yourself to believe it! My sister and I had a similar incident when we were toddlers...fortunately for us you can’t do as much damage with kindergarten scissors as you can with electric hair clippers. The toddlers’ video has received over 5 million views and their Mom Stephanie has received praise for the calm way she handled the ‘Edward Scissorhands’ hacking of her kids’ golden locks. Watch it for yourself here:

If you have ever said the words: “I am having a bad hair day”, you will think differently about your own hair after having seen the new look of Stephanie’s kids. For me, the incident brought to my mind a song called “I Am Not My Hair” that was written and recorded almost 15 years ago by the singer-songwriter India Arie. The song was written after India watched Melissa Etheridge’s performance at the 2005 Grammy Awards where she appeared bald after having undergone chemotherapy treatments for breast cancer. The lyrics go like this:

“I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations no no
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am a soul that lives within...”

Melissa Etheridge ended up shaving her head bald just like the Texas toddlers, but obviously it was for a much different reason. She was battling cancer and wanted to devote all of her energy to healing and not to worrying about the battle with her hairbrush. She ending up looking strong, brave, confident and incredibly beautiful. She showed us all that she was not her hair!

It is easy to get caught up in appearances. We compare ourselves not only to each other, but to the unattainable airbrushed images which appear in magazines. I wish I could have back all of the time I have spent over the years on my hair...styling it as well as worrying about it. For as long as I can remember, I have wished for different hair...thicker, more voluminous, and more easily manageable. Almost every time I have shown a photo to my hairdresser of my desired style, it has been pointed out to me that the woman in the photo is wearing a wig and/or extensions in order to achieve that look. I applaud the women who have famously removed their extensions or wigs on television...it is the reminder we all need that sometimes things are not as they appear.

I know I am not the first person to ever devote time and thought to my hair. Centuries ago, hairstyles served as identity markers and were used to indicate everything from social status to religion or tribe. Our culture has often dictated what is considered “good” or “bad” hair...just ask anyone who has ever spent tons of money on straightening their curly hair. We should all feel comfortable and empowered to embrace what is naturally ours. When we look at our reflection in the mirror, we should start focusing on what we are blessed to have instead of spending precious time worrying about what we wish was different.

The makeup mogul Mary Kay Ash, the founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics, not only encouraged her sales force to read Stephen Covey’s book “The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People”. She alsoused to instruct her consultants to look in the mirror each day and tell themselves how beautiful they are. Mary Kay knew the importance of beauty coming from within and that the secret formula wasn’t an ingredient in one of her products, but was instead found in confidence, strength and self assurance.

Everyone I know is battling something. Whatever it is that you are going through, you are not defined by it. Whatever it is that has you feeling “less than” or “not good enough”, remember India Arie’s beautiful and empowering words: “You are the soul that lives within.”

After all these years, I may not yet know how to properly style my hair, but I know one thing with absolute certainty:

You are not your scars, you are not your blemishes, you are not your love handles, you are not your marital status, you are not your checking account balance, you are not your past mistakes and you are most definitely not your hair!