My second son recently turned 16 which means I now am teaching two teenagers how to drive. When you have been doing something for years, you may not remember what it's like to do it as a beginner. In the case of driving, I had forgotten just how many words of wisdom that need to be shared with the next generation of drivers. One of the things that I find myself saying quite often during our driving lessons is "stay in your lane." As you well know, whether you are turning left or right, you have to be sure to stay in your lane when you complete the turn. How about the "floaters" that you encounter on the highway? You know, the cars that are going back and forth between lanes and you find yourself screaming "pick a lane!" They are most definitely a driving hazard! They call into play your skills as a defensive driver and are another example of the importance of staying in your own lane.
My sons reminded me that I have been telling them to stay in their lane for many years now and that they did not realize when they were younger that the expression was relevant to driving. My use of the phrase pertained to putting blinders on (like what is done with thoroughbred horses before a race) and to shut out any distractions and focus on the task at hand. What I did not realize is that, sadly, according to the Urban Dictionary, the phrase has taken on a negative meaning in recent years, as in "mind your own business, stay in your lane." This isn't surprising since, as we have discussed previously in this column, living your life in the fish bowl of social media leaves you open to criticism. Among the many responses you can have in your arsenal for such an occasion would be to politely refer the offender to move to their own lane. I prefer to think of 'staying in your own lane' as a positive affirmation.
How about you? What are you working on lately?
.....A new project a work?
.....Eating clean in 2018?
.....Training for a marathon?
.....Decluttering your home?
.....Redecorating a room or two?
.....Kicking it up a notch at the gym?
.....Putting more money into your IRA?
Are you focused on the road ahead of you or are you too busy taking sideways glances to see what the person next to you is doing? Can you truly focus on your own goals while you are busy investigating whether the gal on the next treadmill or in the neighboring cubicle is achieving hers?
I do not envy my sons as I watch them go through high school. There seems to be a lot of "what'd ya get?" and comparing when it comes to exam scores and class grades. While one way of looking at that constant comparison is that it could serve as an incentive (you know the expression "you have to try to keep up with the fastest runner in the race"), I see it as a distraction. Much like driving, you do need to pay attention to what is going on around you, but the primary focus needs to always be on the car you are driving, the road ahead of you, the traffic signs along the way, and taking a different route when you sense a jam up ahead.
If you were taking driving lessons like my sons, the instructor would tell you that in you need to look towards the horizon to see what is ahead of you instead of looking down over the hood. If you keep your eyes on the road just past the hood, it means you will end up focusing on the things that are too close. In order to get where you are going, you need to look ahead and down the road. If you want to keep your car from drifting away from the center, you have to know where the center of your vehicle is. I think these fundamental principles are the perfect place to begin...before you start your engine, find your center and remember to always look towards the horizon.
My advice to you today is to take these words with you wherever you go, and not just when you are behind the wheel of the car: "Be yourself. Compete not with another soul. It's hard to stay in your lane when you are looking everywhere else but forward."