I recently met a friend of mine for tea at a local "mom and pop" tea shop. The atmosphere was lovely, they had a wide assortment of teas and comfortable chairs, and the service was wonderful. As impressive as all of that was, what I found most remarkable was that my lovely friend knew everyone in the shop and they all knew her! She was warmly welcomed, our server had my friend's tea order committed to memory, and when some of her other friends stopped by, they knew exactly where in the shop to find her. It reminded me of the fictional television character "Norm" from the 1980's sitcom "Cheers". Norm regularly dropped into his neighborhood bar and was always greeted by a chorus of everyone shouting out his name. The show's theme song was even called "Where Everybody Knows Your Name." My tea shop visit was perfectly timed because just this week, there were news stories about 'loneliness' being at epidemic proportions and that it is considered a serious health hazard.
Usually when you hear the word 'epidemic' you think of infectious diseases. So when a former United States Surgeon General was interviewed by the Harvard Business Review and the Washington Post and told the journalists that emotional well being and loneliness were at the top of his list of big public health worries , it got some attention. The data numbers are staggering. Not only is loneliness associated with an increased risk of depression, heart disease, anxiety and a suppressed immune system, it has been found to be connected to a reduction in life span.
That's the bad news. The good news...there is a cure. Unlike other ailments which may have you trying one prescription after another until your health improves, the cure for loneliness is pretty clear...you need to improve your social support and increase your opportunities for social interaction. It is important not to confuse being a loner with being lonely. Some of us prefer to have a significant amount of "alone time" in order to feel balanced and happy. That is understandable and that is okay. However, if you are feeling isolated and lonely, it is time to implement a cure that will help your loneliness and keep you healthy as well as happy. Another bit of good news...it is not the quantity of relationships that will cure loneliness, it is the quality.So we do not need to find a bar where everyone knows our name. We just need to take steps to make some new connections or reconnect with some of our old ones.
I know someone who regularly spends time at her local library. She participates in the knitting group, takes a yoga class and goes to every informational seminar. She sees many of the same people at these various events and knows that when she is feeling lonely, all she has to do is pop into the library and she will very likely see someone she knows. How about that gym membership that doesn't get nearly enough use? If you start to attend the same class every week, you will get to know the people that are working out around you. Interested in gardening, cooking or making jewelry?Participating in a local class is a great way to meet people who share your same interests. Could you fit in a few hours a week or even a month to volunteer? Many studies show that when you find a way to help others, your own emotional needs will be fulfilled. When you give of your heart, it fills your heart. Even something as simple as a random act of kindness could help make a lasting connection. Think about the smiles on the faces of the local volunteer firefighters if you walked into their station with a box of cookies.
As a Health Coach, I often talk about the connection between our body, mind, and soul. When I work with my clients, I care as much about how they are feeling emotionally as what they are eating and how much they are exercising. There is a strong connection between our emotional and physical well-being and I am committed to helping you live your healthiest life in both areas. Very soon I will be starting Group Health Coaching Sessions. We will get together and discuss health topics that are of interest to you. It will be a great opportunity to get social and healthy at the same time! We may even meet at a local tea shop and we will make sure that everyone there knows our names!