Last week, a very dear friend of mine told me a touching story about her household tool box. She said that it was a gift from a friend who brought it over to her house years ago on the day that her divorce became final. Her ex-husband was very handy around the house and had a tool (and the expertise) to fix just about anything. I recall that, back in the day, he even fixed a few things in my home.
What a thoughtful and meaningful gift! That toolbox was more than just an attractive container for her new screwdriver, wrench, hammer and nails. It signified something very powerful...that my friend had everything she needed to move on with her new life and not only SURVIVE, but THRIVE. She is incredibly strong, very intelligent, an extremely dedicated mother and a very positive role model to her children. On top of all of those attributes, she is a tremendously successful businesswoman. What she soon came to realize, after the ink dried on the divorce papers, was that she not only had every tool in that toolkit to handle her household chores, she had everything she needed within her to be able to go on and live her best life.
This got me thinking about what tools we need to have in our own personal tool boxes. I am not talking about the power tools that will help you handle any basic repair job. What I am saying is that I think we each need to have a "Tool Box" of essentials for when life gets us down and we have something in our lives in need of attention and fixing. Wouldn't it be great to be able to go to the closet and pull out a box that was filled with everything you need to be comforted when you feel as if the only thing left to do is jump into bed and pull the covers over your head?
What would you put in your "Feel Better Tool Kit?" Would it look like a hotel mini-bar and be stocked with your favorite wine, soda and chocolate bars? Would it look more like a pharmacy and be loaded with your go-to ibuprofen bottles? Perhaps it would have some old love-letters or even the report card you are most proud of.
My Mom kept a closet stocked with "treats" when my sisters and I were growing up. We loved that closet! It had luxurious lotions, brand name makeup, beautifully scented candles and our favorite hair products. If we ever ran out of something, we knew just where to go. That closet was filled with so many wonderful goodies that we would open up the door and look inside even if we didn't need anything...it just made us feel great to see all of those fabulous things in one place. Long after we moved out and had homes of our own, my sisters and I would go straight to that closet when we went home to spend time with our parents. That closet meant so much to us that we still talk about it decades later. It was a great comfort to us knowing that our Mom so lovingly and carefully kept that closet filled with our favorite things. It must be obvious to you by now, that the caring and thought that built up that stash of goods meant more to us than what was actually in there.
So again I ask you...what would you put in your tool box or your very own closet of treats? If you decide to create your own "comfort kit", it will be a tremendous gift that you are giving yourself and to your family. It can be a closet, a drawer, a shoe box, a basket or an actual tool box...that part doesn't matter. What will make a difference in your life is what you put in there. How wonderful would it be if on days when your soul needs to be lifted up, you could open up your comfort tool kit and be greeted by your favorite CD, a beautiful book, a poem that moves you, a luxurious lotion that would bring you to a place of serenity, a scrapbook of cards from people you love, a new pair of pajamas or the most comfortable blanket that you can find. As your Health Coach, I even give you permission to stock your tool kit with chocolate (make it dark chocolate)!
If I asked you to assemble this kit as a gift for someone else, I bet you'd be on your way to the store right now to pick up the best items. I am here to remind you that you need to treat yourself just as well. Having your own personal tool kit (and using it when you need to) is like putting on your oxygen mask first so you can be of help to those around you.
Do it today. On a day when your new tool box is most needed, it will be there waiting for you. It will help you feel comforted and loved like my Mom's closet did for my sisters and me. Stock up your Tool Kit. Your future self will thank you.