Those three words send tingles up my spine when I hear them. I am not the world's greatest flyer. Ask anyone who has flown with me or has had the unfortunate opportunity to sit near me. It's not just that I have my rosary beads out and my Holy Water vial in my lap. I also have a tight grip on the arm of the person sitting in the adjacent seat. If I am in the middle seat, then my white knuckles are firmly gripped on the arms of both of my left-hand side and right-hand side neighbors. When the plane is taking off, my eyes are completely shut and I am leaning back and pulling up as if I am the one flying the plane and holding the throttle. I act as if my leaning and pulling are necessary in order to get the plane off of the ground. When the plane is racing down the runway to achieve the speed necessary for take off, I am tense, tight and stressed the entire time. Instead of feeling relieved when the plane lifts up and takes off, I am left feeling exhausted and completely drained. This whole scenario is a metaphor for life.
When we are faced with a stressful situation, we oftentimes go into defense-mode where we hide behind barriers and are consumed with worry and anticipation. This is an entrenched habit. We would handle things so much better if we were more relaxed, open and present. If our minds are tense and our bodies are contracted, all of our energy and focus are going towards those constricted muscles instead of being reserved to deal with the challenge before us.
I have heard it said that in martial arts, you don't take a move against your opponent until you are pushed. When we anticipate stress, our obvious reaction is to be stressed. Like the martial artists, we should wait to get pushed before we react. In your own life, how many times has a solution to a problem or a new idea come to you when you were not spending time actively thinking about it? Creative thinkers have learned to relax and observe and let the intuitive mind do its work. "Ah-Ha" moments are more likely to come when we are being intuitive and creative because we have made space for them in our relaxed minds.
Modern society teaches us the art of contraction, worry and stress. Most of the time we spend worrying about something, we are actually anticipating the troubling situation before we are even presented with it. There is a famous quote attributed to Mark Twain, "I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened." Isn't that the case with most things we perseverate on? The anticipation and dread are worse than the actual event, whether it is an exam, an interview, or a difficult conversation. We walk around thinking and obsessing about things that will end up never happening. We worry, dread, and fear what hasn’t yet happened and what probably/hopefully never will. One of the reasons I think we are all so exhausted by 3pm every day is because we are holding our bodies in a contracted state all day. How often do we take the time to get up and stretch? Our dogs and cats do this periodically throughout the day. We should follow their lead.
Is there something in your life that you are treating like I handle the airplane take off? Are you putting all of your mental focus and internal energy into the anticipation, worry and dread instead of living in the moment and reserving your energy for living your best life?
Getting back to the martial artists, remember when I said earlier that they stay focused and wait for their opponent to make a move? The skilled martial artists actually create the illusion that they are able to anticipate their opponents' moves, which is really just an exercise in good tactics. Between two highly skilled practitioners, the match is decided by who manages to control the “landscape” of the fight best. In order for us to take control of the landscapes that lie before us, we need to make time each day for renewal and relaxation so our deeper, quiet, more aware and calm selves will be best prepared when we hear the words "prepare for takeoff."
What will you do today for relaxation and renewal? Share your ideas with me in the comments section. I look forward to hearing from you.