The word “blackout” probably means different things to different people. Perhaps when you hear the word, you conjure up thoughts of your favorite incredibly decadent blackout chocolate cake. If you are a theater person, the word blackout refers to what happens at the end of a scene or an act in a play. NYC residents will recall the famous electrical blackout of 1977 that left the Big Apple in the dark for days. This week, many people are talking about Kobe Bryant’s famous basketball practice sessions known as blackouts...because of how hard he worked and pushed himself and how long into the night his workouts lasted.
The sudden, untimely and tragic death of Kobe Bryant, his 13-year old daughter Gianna and 7 of their friends shocked the world this week. I believe that years from now, we will all remember where we were and what we were doing when we heard the shocking news.
Much has been said about Kobe’s illustrious basketball career and his many accomplishments, championship wins and record breaking stats. I know, as we all do, that he was legendary, winning 5 NBA titles, 2 Olympic Gold Medals and having 18 All Star appearances. Everyone seems to be talking about Kobe’s life and legacy, both on and off the basketball court. All of the numbers, awards, achievements and accolades aside, for me what is more notable is that he surmounted his missteps and went on to become a very devoted husband and father. Watching the videos of him with his daughters brings immediate tears to my eyes. There is nothing more touching to me than seeing a man so deeply devoted to his daughters. Kobe famously said many times how much he loved being a ”girl-dad”. The term even began trending this week in the wake of Kobe Byrant’s death. There is no doubt how incredibly proud he was of his daughters and how fully present he was in their lives. It is particularly hard for parents who are so busy taking care of their families to be a part of their daily lives...to be present in an impactful, inspiring and supportive way. If you are a parent yourself, then you know, as I do, that we are prouder of our children’s accomplishments and achievements than we are of our own. Even a larger than life, superstar like Kobe showed us that when it came to parental pride, he was “just like the rest of us”. If you are unsure about what I mean, watch the video of Kobe telling Jimmy Kimmel that when people asked him if he wanted to have a son to follow in his footsteps, he quickly answered by talking about his daughter Gianna who was a rising basketball star and sharing her own words: “I got this!” Kobe’s response to his beloved daughter: “Yes, you got this!”
Those closest to him - his former teammates, coaches and friends - are all in agreement that what made Bryant a champion was his fierce determination and unmatched dedication and work ethic. From the very beginning of his professional career, when he started playing for the NBA right out of high school, his practice sessions were legendary. You knew you could always find him working out for hours on end at the UCLA facilities and the local Boys and Girls Club. He got there way before everyone else and stayed long past the last person had left for the night. Even when Kobe was in high school, he arrived at 5:00am to practice for a few hours before the first bell rang, and he would make his teammates play him one-on-one to 100 long after their practices and games ended. He was known for practicing without a ball, moving and jumping and grunting just to go through the motions for the ultimate preparation. In something that reminds me of my own son, he even taught himself to play Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" on the piano, by ear. Kobe was known for digging down deep, accessing the best parts of himself, and pushing himself harder than any of his coaches had to. No matter what the obstacles, he always kept moving and would get right back to work.
When Kobe retired from the NBA in 2016 and was on his “farewell tour”, he spoke about the things he hoped to accomplish in his post-basketball life. He talked about writing a book, getting an Oscar and opening up a basketball academy for young players. In the few short years he had since his retirement, he accomplished all that he set out to do. We can spend time right now focusing on all of the things that he had yet to finish and how this tragedy cut short his life and plans as well as those of his young daughter and their friends. Or we can think about how bold and brazen one has to be to do what you set out to do and allow nothing to hold you back. We should be inspired to live a life of no regrets...of things not left undone or unsaid.
It is impossibly difficult to process so much loss. We are all faced with these mountains to overcome each and every day. My grandmother used to say to me all of the time: “Don’t ever question the Lord’s will. Ours is not to reason why.” So instead of asking the question about why and how it is that those we love are taken away from us, I think we should be reminded of the importance of making special moments and memories happen...the big ones and the daily, routine and mundane ones. We should aspire to being fully present every day. For me, this means continuing to tell my kids every day how incredibly proud I am of them and how grateful I am to be their Mom...to listen and look into their eyes when they speak, and to celebrate their lives every day. Kobe will serve as a reminder to us all, that to achieve success and be the best versions of ourselves, we need to remain open to the inspiration of those around us. He found that inspiration from his daughter who helped him to look at basketball in a new and different way...through her young, aspiring and dream-filled eyes.
No matter what, we can be like Kobe....dreaming big, picking up the ball, pushing ourselves a bit more, and being the hardest working person at the "blackout practice" session.
The very best way to honor the lives of those whom we have loved and lost is to live the way that they lived - with passion, big dreams and unlimited love.