Seven years ago, my husband and I decided to put a swimming pool in our backyard. It was something that we (actually I) had contemplated for many years. I wanted a pool so badly that I went out and bought myself a kiddie pool! If you were ever looking for me on a hot day, I could be found sitting in 12 inches of cool water in a plastic structure shaped like a zoo animal. I must tell you, it was quite a sad sight! After nearly 18 years of repeatedly bringing up the idea of having our own pool, my husband finally agreed that we could “explore” the topic. His resistance was based on very real concerns: “the weather isn’t great in the northeast”, “it’s a very short season”, “our kids are too small”, “we are so busy, we won’t have enough time to use it.” I did what any good researcher would do and I started interviewing every single person I knew who owned a backyard pool. I asked them every question I could think of, from the type of liner they used, salt vs fresh water, maintenance costs, concrete or vinyl, and the most important question of all - “Do you feel as if you use it enough?” Not only did I get the answers to my many pool-related questions, I also learned a valuable life lesson.
One of my friends said to me...”You are looking at it all wrong. No one has 7 or 8 hours per day to sit by their pool unless you are on vacation. Having your own pool won’t mean that you put your life on hold to sit poolside or swim all day. It means that you will have something to look forward to when you have 15 or 30 minutes free. Your pool will encourage you to get your work, chores and errands done so you can have those fifteen or thirty minutes of relaxation.” She went on to say “Don’t worry about the weather. Very few days are complete washouts. Your pool will be there waiting for you when the rain clouds move on and the sun comes out.”
You could have knocked me over with a can of sunscreen when I heard these words! My very wise friend was completely correct...but not just about the “to build or not build a pool” question. I realized that my “all or nothing” approach to life was not really working for me. There had been so many times when I had let my ‘fear of no free time’ prevent me from living my life to the fullest. The words in my head sounded something like this:
“I’m too busy with the kids, I guess I will go back to reading books when they are older.” ....
"I don’t have 60 minutes before work to exercise.”...
"There aren’t enough hours in the day to do....(fill in the blank).”
I came to realize that my limiting beliefs were really standing in my way of doing the things that I so badly wanted and needed to do for myself.
Right around the time that I was contemplating having the back yard dug up for the long-awaited pool, I was on the mailing list of a popular, nationally known organizational expert known as Fly Lady. Marla Cilley (aka “Fly Lady”) was my go-to person for all things that fell under the heading of Decluttering and Organizing. She got her famous nickname not because she is a pilot or loves to fly planes. It was because her hobby was fly fishing. She was buried so deeply beneath her to-do lists, clutter and busyness, that she felt like she never had any time to go fly fishing or to do anything fun or good for herself. She started the “Fly Lady movement” and encouraged all of her loyal followers to come along on her journey. She declared that “FLY” would stand for Finally Loving Yourself and that she was going to make sure we made time to do it! Her big mantra was that all you need is 15 minutes! You can clear out a cluttered drawer in 15 minutes, you could prepare a healthy meal in 15 minutes, you can exercise for 15 minutes, and you can change your life in.....yes, you guessed it - 15 minutes! She even sold little timers on her website that maxed out at 15 minutes. I had been listening to Fly Lady’s podcasts for awhile, but I obviously had not truly embraced the power of the quarter hour concept.
Back to my friend with the life lesson wrapped in swimming pool advice. Her arguments were so convincing that before we knew it, there were excavators digging up our back yard. Seven years later, I can honestly say that barely a day goes by that we haven’t used our pool. One or more of us is in the water for at least the magic number of 15 minutes each day. The whole experience was life changing for me because I decided to apply the 15 minute timer to all aspects of my life, from reading to exercising to decluttering to napping. While we may not have 60 or 90 minutes (or more) to do the things that will help us to live our best lives, we most definitely should be able to carve out 15. As I tell my health coaching clients who say they don’t have time to take care of themselves, “You don’t have the time not to!” We all have limiting beliefs that get in our way, whether it is guilt, fear of being selfish, or the self-defeating “I don’t deserve a break.”
If we don't set aside time to take care of ourselves each day, we will become overworked, overstressed, overwhelmed, or sick. Even just fifteen minutes of self-care can and will make a positive difference.
The next time you get the opportunity to do something for yourself, whether it is to finally take a much wanted afternoon nap, read that book that everyone is talking about, try a healthy new recipe or join a friend for an evening swim, carve out 15 minutes and take the plunge! Like my family’s decision to finally get a pool, if you start doing what you have long awaited, you will not have any regrets. Take that plunge! As the saying goes, “come on in, the water’s fine!”