What do you think of when you hear the words "The Big Ten"? For most, it means the Big Ten Conference, the oldest Division I collegiate athletic conference in the United States made up primarily of large state universities located in the midwest. There have recently been a lot of conversations in my home surrounding the Big Ten since the University of Notre Dame Men's Ice Hockey Team just joined the conference. Believe it or not, The Big Ten is the governing principle by which I manage my life but it has absolutely nothing to do with sports or midwestern universities!
It all started nearly ten years ago when I read Suzy Welch's column in Oprah's magazine (which was the basis for a book that was published years afterwards) entitled 10-10-10: A Life Transforming Idea. The idea behind the book is that we all need an effective strategy for making decisions in our lives.The principle Suzy describes is that we ask ourselves the impact that our decisions will have in 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years.
This very powerful decision-making tool has come in handy quite a bit for me over the years, including as recently as last week. My calendar for the week was completely booked and my appointments with clients had been 'on the docket' for several weeks. Then something unexpected happened - the father of one of my very close friends passed away and the out-of-town funeral mass was scheduled for a day that I had several business appointments booked. When you are faced with competing demands, what do you do to choose one over the other? I use the Big 10-10-10 method. In this case, I asked myself "would it matter more 10 years from now that I rescheduled my business appointments to another day or that I was there to support my friend in her time of need?" I reached out to my clients and asked if they would be willing and able to reschedule and thanks to their extremely understanding and accommodating spirits, I was able to attend my friend's Dad's Funeral. By the way, this dear friend of mine is the one that stood by my side 16 years ago when my family suffered a tremendous loss. This was a case of "10-10-10" in reverse because she left work that day as soon as she heard our devastating news to come hold my hand (and my newborn baby) and comfort me. All these many years later, I still remember that she was there for me. Do you think her boss remembers that she ducked out of work early that day?
I cannot tell you how many times the Big Ten method has worked for me and for my family...
When my son was disappointed that he got an 89 on an exam, we asked him "will the grade matter 10 minutes from now?" He answered, "Yes, most definitely!" "10 months from now?" we asked. "Probably, since it will have a slight impact on my overall GPA" he responded. "Son, will it matter 10 years from now?" My husband and I answered for him: "Absolutely not! You won't even remember the name of the textbook, let alone your grades in the class!"
Another example of the 10-10-10 decision making strategy in action was when we had to decide if my son should miss school to attend the Papal Mass in NYC two years ago...was he more likely in 10 years to remember the once-in-a-lifetime experience or what he would have learned in his classes that day?
Can you think of ways that 10-10-10 could help in your life? Making a decision about a relationship? Choosing a job? Accepting or declining an invitation? Suzy Welch maintains that by deploying these same questions each and every time you are faced with a decision, you are removing the emotion, impulse, stress and expedience from the picture and instead relying on your values and deepest goals.
How about if we use 10-10-10 to help us to make healthy decisions and choices in our lives?
There are donuts on the office conference room table. 10 minutes from now, how will you feel if you decided to eat one or two? Do you have an upcoming event and an outfit that you need to fit into? 10 years from now (after many years of saying YES to office donuts), will it have had an impact on your health? These are important things to consider as you walk past the ubiquitous junk food table.
You may be long overdo for your annual physical and/or bloodwork. How much better would you feel 10 days from now knowing that you finally made that appointment and 10 months from now long after you went and discussed your health concerns with your doctor? Are you beginning to see how this Big Ten thing works?
What about the new-age question we are all faced with: "Should you eat more kale?" Use the 10-10-10 principle to decide for yourself. Try it! It is extremely helpful and beneficial. Not just the 10-10-10 thing...do yourself a favor and try the kale too!